Couples often enter into a marriage having more discussion about the type of cake they want for their wedding rather than a conversation about their commitment and values. RELATED: ‘I Left My Boyfriend Over Laundry’: Woman Exposes Argument That Revealed Boyfriend Was Stalking Her
Here are 6 simple signs you’ve finally met the man of your dreams:
1. You know what qualities you want in a mate, and what is and isn’t acceptable
Take the time that’s needed to get to know your partner. Dating is a process of learning about one another and seeing how your partner handles situations — the good, the bad, and the ugly. How he interacts with and treats the waitress in a restaurant, family members, his friends and you are all good indicators of who he really is. If he’s judgmental toward everyone, that judgmental attitude will eventually be directed toward you. Don’t minimize or rationalize when he displays qualities that you aren’t willing to live with. Way too many women say they started a relationship thinking a particular quality of their husband/boyfriend they didn’t like would improve after they got married. This is rarely the case, and in this situation, the relationship only got worse. Remember: the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior.
2. You know that infatuation ends and you won’t really “see” your partner until passing that stage
The chemicals in your brain are actually altered during this period (the honeymoon phase), which is why the saying “love is blind” is very accurate. When under the spell of infatuation, the flaws of our partner are often unseen. Everyone has parts to them that you will love and parts that will be a source of frustration. It’s only a matter of time before you begin to see and experience the frustrating parts. Be honest with yourself, and asses if you and your partner are able to overcome and work through conflict and frustration in a way that you’re both respected. RELATED: Bride Devastated After Fiancé Reveals The Real Reason He Proposed To Her
3. You recognize that you’re in a relationship for the right reasons, not just for companionship
If you’re in the relationship because you’re too fearful of being alone or because you worry that you won’t meet “Mr. Right,” this is definitely not your prince charming. Settling isn’t going to pay off in the long run.
4. You both treat each other equally
If your partner allows you to be who you are, supports you in your endeavors, and seeks a partnership, and you reciprocate that attitude, this could be a good match. Loving someone is about being selfless and being willing to put your own agenda aside so you can hear, see and understand the other; it isn’t a feeling, but an act. The feelings wear off, but the behaviors and level of commitment are what keep a relationship strong. RELATED: I Was The Other Woman And Then I Left Him For His Brother
5. You don’t have a sense of co-dependency, control, or jealousy
A relationship will not end happily ever after if a partner portrays these qualities or behaviors.
6. You show each other mutual respect and compassion
You and your partner should have a commitment to one another to communicate and resolve conflicts as they arise. No one can get through life without conflict, and it’s important that your man is able to communicate in a loving manner with a sincere concern for what’s best for you. If you feel that this is true for you and your partner, then you may just have found your prince. Ultimately, it’s important to pay attention to your own intuition. Know what it is you want in a partnership and make sure that you and your prince share the same values and beliefs. RELATED: I Left My Husband For A Married Man — But He Never Left His Wife Leslie Petruk, MA, LCMHCS, NCC, BCC, is the director of The Stone Center for Counseling & Leadership. She has worked as a Licensed Clinical Mental Health Counselor since 1996.
